My Heart and Other Black Holes Book Review

Book Name: My Heart and Other Black Holes

Author: Jasmine Warga

Published: February 5, 2012

Publisher: Harper Collins/Balzer + Bray

Genre: YA Contemporary

Posted by:

Blurb:

Sixteen-year-old physics nerd Aysel is obsessed with plotting her own death. With a mother who can barely look at her without wincing, classmates who whisper behind her back, and a father whose violent crime rocked her small town, Aysel is ready to turn her potential energy into nothingness.

There's only one problem: she's not sure she has the courage to do it alone. But one she discovers a website with a section called Suicide Partners, Aysel's convinced she's found her solution: a teen boy with the username FrozenRobot (aka Roman) who's haunted by a family tragedy is looking for a  partner.

Even though Aysel and Roman have nothing in common, they slowly start to fill each other's broken lives. But as their suicide pact becomes more concrete, Aysel begins to question whether she really wants to go through with it. Ultimately, she must choose between wanting to die or trying to convince Roman to live so they can discover the potential energy together. Except that Roman may no be so easy to convince.

Lisamentary:

I've been noticing a trend lately in YA and it's a pretty depressing one! Not only is there an increasing number of books about suicides, there's an increasing appearance of people trying to commit suicide with support from others online. Like, how crazy is that?!?!? Usually if you were contemplating suicide, you would go online to find a support group for help or something. Instead these people go online to make sure they do! 

In this case, Aysel (pronounced Uh-zel like gazelle) logs on to Suicide Partners to find a buddy to form a suicide pact with and that person is FrozenRobot or Roman. 

Aysel is an outcast after her dad killed a town hero, a teenage phenom with a real chance at the Olympics. She doesn't have any real friends and even feels alone in her own house. Also, Aysel reveals several times that she feels a void inside her; she's depressed and doesn't feel any motivation. Despite being depressed, Aysel was a very likable character because she was real. She wasn't constantly moping around all the time; she was plain lost.

As for Roman, he's the guy you wouldn't expect to be upset because he's the cool kid on campus that should have it all. He gives a new meaning to depression, like there isn't just a type of person who can become depressed, because really, anyone can. However, what little know is that he "killed" his sister. Technically, he didn't but also he did. He neglected his sick sister while she was taking a bath and she drowned because he wanted some alone time with his girlfriend. Despite that, he is obviously extremely remorseful and acknowledges his mistake to the full extent. The overwhelming guilt makes him sure that he wants to end his life. 

Unlike Aysel, Roman is adamant on wanting to die, which makes him a much more depressing character. I felt so much hope in Aysel because even though she wanted to die, I believed that deep down she wanted to live even more. She just didn't know how and what to do with herself. This hope I think was fundamental to the growth of Aysel's and Roman's relationship and made Aysel seem more relatable to me. In truth, it's hard to think that someone can be so set on ending their own life without any certainty of what happens after and with knowledge of what they're leaving behind.

Although they didn't want any attachment to each other, it formed because they're both on the same boat. They want to die. I really enjoyed the development of the relationship because they did and revealed so many things they wouldn't have if they had not decided on death. This made their relationship much more genuine and mature, atypical of a teenage relationship. They just complemented each other well and it seemed like destiny put them together. But that's the tragic part because they're not even thinking about a future.

By the end, I expected it to happen, but I was sad that it did. Now, people, this is not as sad as it sounds because…both of them live. Hooray to life! It was open-ended, but it was very fitting for this book because the ending is full of hope. I can see them together. No sequel, of course.

I'm really glad that didn't die because personally, I think suicide is selfish in many cases (but not those with painful, terminal diseases for example). They're killing themselves to rid of their own misery while leaving all their loved ones behind to mourn and deal with the loss. Most say they're sorry, but that's just a formality. If they're really sorry, they'd tough it out. 

On a brighter note, I loved the connection to physics throughout the novel. It just made the novel more fun and that much less sad. Also, the metaphor for physics as life is just wow. AHAHAHAHA

This was a great book, even though it's a bit sullen. The voices of the characters were honest and the story was well-developed and raw. The ending may have ended in too neat of a bow, but that's just the way I like it. Books are representation of real life, but most all of they're supposed to give us hope and truth to see a better world. And death in this case didn't seem right to me. It was a very touching novel. 

I'll give it some time before I read another one like it though. Enjoy!!!

Rating:

Story: 10

Characters: 10

Enjoyment: 10

Overall: